I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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