were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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