it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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