i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
