I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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