I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
