She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
