I want to stick my p in your. b.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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