you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
