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You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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