i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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