The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize