true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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