I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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