so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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