my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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