You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
