how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
