Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again