I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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