at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
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someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
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Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.