Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
