sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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