You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
