I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
