I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i think im in europe. pls send help
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize