if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
