Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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