Are we in a gay sports bar?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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