last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
