I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
