i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
