Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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