Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
