That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
why is half of my head shaved?
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