walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
