alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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