ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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