i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
