my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
