My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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