this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
