i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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