like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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