Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
bring money and cleavage
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
