Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
