I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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