In the future we'll all be gay
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Banned from zoo.
Again?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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