Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
