mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
FUCK WHALES
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize