mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
