Say something about gay babies.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Life is so much better after having sex.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
