I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I need moral support for this bender
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
