these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
