he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
