Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
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New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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