not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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