woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
