I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
