i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
