The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize