turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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