My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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