I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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