You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
