just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I will be naked everywhere
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
