Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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