I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
