PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
