K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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