After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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